Visiting Hours

You know the time we went rowing on that lake? It was just after we started going out. (Our third date, maybe?) I don’t remember what made you drop the oars, but I do remember how embarrassed you were. I laughed about it and told you not to worry. What I didn’t tell you at the time was how disappointed I was when someone finally came out to rescue us. I know it was cold. I know you felt stupid. I know we only had a bottle of Ribena and a packet of Mini Cheddars to share between us. But it’s one of my favourite memories. Just you and me, with all the time in the world and nothing and nobody to spoil it. So peaceful. So simple.

It might sound strange, but in the months since the accident, it’s all felt a bit similar to that. We’ve been cast adrift, you and me. And yes, it’s been hard. It’s been a lonely experience, especially since no-one can tell me for sure whether even you can really understand what’s going on. Like being in that boat, we just don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck here. But somehow, I still know it’s all going to be OK. And whatever happens, we’re together.

People wonder why I still come and see you every day. In fact, Natalie took me to one side last week and told me plainly to find someone else. ‘Let him go,’ she told me, ‘Why waste yourself on a man who’s never going to wake up? You’re still young. You’ve still got time to find someone else.’ But how can I do that? When I promised, ‘In sickness and in health’, I didn’t add, ‘unless you’re in a coma’. Besides, I don’t want anyone else. Of course, I’m angry to be in this situation, but more than that, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for what we had; for what we still have. Think of all the people who go through life without ever truly loving someone. Think of all the people who are lonely, abused or bitter. Whatever happens to us now, how many people can say they had what we’ve got? So that’s why I keep coming here. That’s why I’ll always keep coming, regardless of whether you wake up or if you keep lying there, not moving, not saying a word. We might be stranded in the lake, but at least we got in the boat to begin with. See you tomorrow.